November 10th

My heart is broken into thousand of piece.

I clutch them to me, trying to hold them together.

Clutch them to my chest.

The tighter I hold on, the more they slip through my fingers.

They scatter in the wind, thrown down a new life course.

I look at my empty hands in despair as they drip with blood, my blood pouring out through the hole where my heart use to be.

Slowly I slip from my knees to the ground with a groan, curl into the fettle position and weep for all that I have lost.

My knees drawn into my chest.

I weep for my childhood.

I weep for my soul.

I weep for my lack of perspective.

I weep for my sanity.

On the wind I hear the beating slowly stop, like the wind whipping a memory in my direction and then yanking it away again..

Brain function silences.

The wind stills.

In the quiet there is something like soft laughter.

Near the ground points of light begin to illuminate, lifting their faces rejoicing to the silent sky.

Near my face they illuminate slowly, and then like brush fire the lights seem to spread, gathering speed, gathering strength, hundreds, thousands, millions, billions, drawn to a rotting corpse.

They fill the gaping hole, the light blinding.

Gasping breath.

I was never lost.